doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
