If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
