I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize