New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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