oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
