I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I bet he comes in French.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is the high leading the old right now
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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