Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i want to swaddle you in tequila
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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