I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
