She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
