I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
