I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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