hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
