Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
