Don't make out with my wife yet
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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