remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
