how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
