I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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