it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
