I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
