She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize