I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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