Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize