I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
