I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
