I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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