It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
