but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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