she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
