Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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