hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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