You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed