Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore