Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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