I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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