She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
soo... how was my night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize