It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
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He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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