I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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