I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
