i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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