I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
