Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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