32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
