Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
love makes seman taste better
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize