I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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