These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Watching her eat just hurts me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Shame - the story of my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
