i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
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they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I licked your asshole in confidence.