I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila