who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
