people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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