Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
they need to just BURY HIM!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize