Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
