wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
