I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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