Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
