Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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