She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
