RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
