is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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